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There’s been a heap o’ loose talk around Mayberry about the new health care reform law. Barney Fife’s friend Sara has pore Aunt Bea plumb scairt to death, and lil’ Opie, he cain’t hardly sleep a wink.

Let’s all just simmer down here, now, and see what Sheriff Andy has to say about this:

More here.

Linked images from AndyGriffithShow.net and A Mayberry State of Mind (don’t miss the recipes).

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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The State of Arizona recently took time out from coining its own currency and making foreign policy to pass its own immigration law, known as SB 1070. U.S. District Judge Susan Bolton blocked implementation of several key provisions because they would pre-empt federal authority and impose an undue burden on legal immigrants and visitors.

The judge also determined that Arizona used two ineligible players in 2007-8 and must vacate all wins involving them, eliminate a scholarship for 2012-13, and spend two years on probation.

Oh, wait. That was the NCAA ruling on Arizona basketball.

Read the full injunction and NCAA details.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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The recent CEO-juggling at PB may have distracted you from an alarming news item. Mike Williams, an electronics technician for Transocean, reported that the alarm for the Blowout Preventer valve (BOP) on the Deepwater Horizon drill rig was intentionally disabled to avoid waking the crew with false alarms.

The result: no alarm for the real emergency, which cost 11 lives. A similar alarm bypass at the Upper Big Branch Mine killed 29 miners in an explosion, notes Johnny Kilroy.

 It gets worse. A supervisor told Mr. Williams that the entire Transocean fleet of drill rigs runs the alarms in bypass.

The Deepwater Horizon’s blowout preventer had not been inspected since 2000. The BOP was modified in China. The vessel was in use for nine straight years but never drydocked for refit and repair, so it was full of work-arounds.

And there may be another culprit: Bill Gates. Among the glitches besetting the Deepwater Horizon computer system: the Blue Screen of Death (BSOD), a Microsoft classic.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Amazon.com reported that, in its last quarter, eBooks outsold hardbacks. The media went mad:

“E-Books: The Future Is Here,” Megan McArdle, The Atlantic.

“The new face of reading? Some e-books now outselling hardbacks,” Doug Gross, CNN.

“Hardcover Books Will Now Be Forgotten, Thanks to Your Kindle,” Brian Moylan, Gawker.

“Amazon: Paper Books Are Dead, Or Something,” Matt Buchahan, Gizmodo.

But what is the paperback-to-hardback ratio? In our house it’s about 20 to 1.

Publishers Weekly estimated 2009 hardback sales at $4.4 billion, paperbacks at $5.1 billion and e-books at only $8.1 million, 1% of printed book sales.  Amazon is fudging the numbers.

If you take your $189 Kindle to the beach, it’s easy to keep it safe while you go in the water. Hide it under a used hardcover book. 

Image (“Mrs. Duffee Seated on a Striped Sofa, Reading Her Kindle, After Mary Cassatt”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Kenneth Feinberg, Special Master on Compensation Reform, cited 17 financial firms for “ill-advised” excessive payments to their executives while taxpayers were bailing their companies out with TARP funds. He called this “bad judgement.” Total of the bonuses and other executive payouts: $1.6 billion.

The TARP bad boys: AIG, Citigroup, CIT Group, M&T Bank Corp, Regions Financial Corp, Suntrust Banks, American Express, Bank of America, Bank of New York Mellon, Boston Private Financial Holdings, Goldman Sachs Group, JPMorgan Chase, Morgan Stanley, PNC, US Bancorp and Wells Fargo.

Will the over-paid execs be forced to repay their bonuses? No. Sanctions for this bad corporate behavior: just Feinberg’s tongue lashing. Delivered on a Friday. A summer Friday, when almost no one reads the news.

Mr. Feinberg ends his role as the TARP “Pay Czar” next week to concentrate on his work as administrator of the BP Oil Spill Victim Compensation Fund. Let’s hope he is allowed some real clout in that job.

More:

 ”The Special Master for Tarp Executive Compensation Concludes the Review of Prior Payments” (U.S. Treasury press release, July 23, 2010.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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BP no longer stands for “British Petroleum.” It stands for BP.

AARP no longer stands for the American Association of Retired People. It stands for AARP.

NPR no longer stands for National Public Radio. It stands for NPR.

YMCA no longer stands for Young Men’s Christian Association. The YMCA is now the Y.

The “A&M” in Texas A&M University no longer stands for Agricultural and Mechanical. It stands for A&M.

These are not acronyms. An acronym is an abbreviation used as a pronounceable name (NATO as “nay – tow,” etc.); these were “initialisms” or abbreviations; now they are a jumble of trademarked, self-referential letters.

WTF?

That is an abbreviation.

Hat tip about A&M: Deirdre Carpenter

Image by Mike Licht (with help from Redkid.net). Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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 Get the big picture:

“A Mosque Maligned,” Robert Wright, New York Times.

“Protesting the mosque: A post Founding Fathers America,” Jonathan Hayden, Open Salon.

Image (based on a WWI poster) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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In 1998, a reverential Republican Congress changed the name of DC’s National Airport to Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport. Soon a grateful nation’s corporate owners will erect a sculptural tribute to our sainted 40th President. It will be conveniently located near one of the airport’s new Pet Relief Areas (dog owners: please do not confuse the two).

The artwork will be chosen by the Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation, not the airport’s admirable public arts process. A sculpture has yet to selected. Our entry is pictured above, based on Mr. Reagan’s enduring wisdom: “You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by the way he eats jelly beans.”

Image (“Reagan Memorial Sculpture for Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport [artist concept]“) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Christie’s auctioned off the contents of the Roy Rogers and Dale Evans Museum last week. Roy’s stuffed and mounted horse Trigger was sold for $266,000 to cable network RFD-TV, which also bought the stuffed remains of Roy’s dog Bullet for $35,000.  RFD-TV will use them as studio props when it begins airing Roy Rogers movies this fall.

Roy Rogers’ saddle sold for $386,500, his guitar $8,750, and a pair of his boots fetched $7,500. The jeep Nellybelle sold for $116,500 and Roy’s silver-dollar-studded 1964 Bonneville brought in $254,500.

Dale Evans’ preserved horse Buttermilk sold for $35,000. Dale’s handwritten lyrics to the “Happy Trails” theme song sold for $27,500, and the crowd spontaneously sang the tune at the end of the sale. Total raised by the auction: $2.98 million.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Society Notes: The editors of US Magazine are pleased to announce the betrothal of Miss Bristol Sheeran Marie Palin and Mr. Levi Keith Johnston of Wasilla, Alaska.

Mr. Johnston is an unemployed dropout from Wasilla High School, where he played hockey while fathering Miss Palin’s son, Tripp Easton Mitchell Palin. His sister blogs and his mother was in pharmaceuticals.

Miss Palin is a noted authority on abstinence-only sex education. Her mother, Mrs. Sarah Palin, a former sportscaster, was Temp-Governor of Alaska for several months. Her father Todd, a retired BP employee, races snowmobiles and fishes for salmon.

The wedding is expected to take place just before the Fall television season. The bride will wear Carolina Herrera, the groom and Tripp will sport a camouflage pattern. The couple plans to honeymoon on reality TV.

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Goldman Sachs Group agreed to pay $550 million in federal fines and damages after misleading investors. That’s what Goldman earns in two weeks, points out the Washington Post‘s  Matt Miller.

Goldman admitted only that its marketing information about the Abacus deal could have been a bit clearer (or weasel words to that effect). The Wall Street firm’s stock price rose after the announcement, adding more than $3 billion to Goldman’s market value, so the payout essentially made the firm $2.5 billion in one day.

There. That should teach them.

What Goldman neglected to tell investors about the Abacus CDO offering: Paulson & Co., the hedge fund which helped design the deal, was betting on its failure. Less charitable people might call such a lapse “fraud.” That such a deal could be allowed to go through at all says much about the state of 21st century finance.

While it appears that the SEC will not pursue the matter any further, Goldman’s woes aren’t over. Banks around the world conned in the mortgage-backed security deal are lining up to sue for additional damages.

Image (“Dogs Dealing Unregulated Securities at Goldman Sachs, after C. M. Coolidge”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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The Iroquois Nationals have yet to compete in the 2010 World Lacrosse Championships in England due to a passport dispute in New York. That’s something of a world-class international embarrassment, since Lacrosse derives from a traditional Iroquois game.

Iroquois Nationals team members hail from Native American communities on both sides of the USA — Canada border and are traveling on Iroquois Confederation passports, unrecognized by the US State Department. If the UK let the team in to play, the US would not let them return.

The stalemate  seemed to have ended yesterday when Secretary of State Clinton had one-time travel waivers granted for the team. This saved the State Department the further embarrassment of revealing that the Nationals traveled to the 1990 championships in Australia on Iroquois passports.

The Iroquois Nationals wanted to emphasize the sovereign status of the Iroquois Nations as recognized in treaties by the North American nation states that sprang up around them a few centuries back, and the team scored a big win. If the Nationals are half as skillful at lacrosse as they are at international diplomacy, this will be a great series.

 UPDATE: We spoke too soon. While the team has clearance to leave and re-enter the USA, the British refuse to honor the Iroquois passports. The Iroquois Nationals missed their first match at the Lacrosse World Championships, and forfeited. The Nationals say they will pursue the matter further and hope to reach England in time to play their next game on Saturday.

 UPDATE 2: “UK denies travel visas for Iroquois Nationals: Barred from traveling to World Championships, Iroquois Nationals win world opinion,” Gale Courey Toensing, Indian Country Today.

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Buy Trigger the Wonder Horse this week in New York. The famed Palomino was stuffed and exhibited at the Roy Rogers and Dale Evans Museum, and the place has closed. Roy and Dale’s treasures have been rounded up for auction at Christie’s on July 14-15. See the slide show here.

Bid on Trigger, Dale’s horse Buttermilk,  Bullet the stuffed Wonder Dog, Nellybelle (the 1946 Willys CJ-2A Jeep driven by sidekick Pat Brady) and much more.

Happy Trails, buckeroos.

(Lyrics to “Happy Trails” by Dale Evans Rogers here, from the Official Roy & Dale website)

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Update: The cap is ON.

BP is replacing the old cap on its gushing Gulf oil well. Removing the old cap has allowed crude oil to gush unrestrained into the Gulf of Mexico, some 60,000 barrels per day.

The new cap will have an improved, snug fit, and should capture more crude. It has been manufactured by Cameron, the company that also made the blowout prevention valves (BOPs) on the Deepwater Horizon.  The cause of the failure of the Deepwater’s BOPs has yet to be determined.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Spain bested Netherlands in an overtime World Cup match. The Dutch team had been undefeated in 25 previous contests. Perhaps this was payback for Holland’s defeat of Spain in the Dutch War of Independence (1648).

Image (“Philip II over William of Orange, 1-0″) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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UPDATED here.

The final match of the 2010 World Cup will be played shortly. The competitors, The Netherlands and Spain, have a history. Lots of history, chiefly the overtime contest called The Eighty Years War or Tachtigjarige Oorlog (1568–1648).

The war began under the leadership of coaches William of Orange on the Dutch side, with Philip II coaching Spain. The outcome? Hint: the struggle is also called the Dutch War of Independence.

Back to today’s match: neither side has won the World Cup in the entire history of FIFA competition. How long is that? Eighty years.

Image (William of Orange vs Philip II) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Washington DC’s Reagan National Airport now has “pet relief areas” so traveling dogs can go to the bathroom. Similar facilities just opened at nearby Dulles Airport, including one in the post-security area. Dogs are equally relieved at Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport (BWI). In fact, jet-set puppies poop at many U.S. airports.

Federal regulations require that airports be accessible to disabled passengers who travel with registered service dogs (such as Seeing Eye Dogs), and dogs need to do … what dogs need to do. Airports figure that other passengers’ pooches might as well use the facilities, too.

Airport dog relief areas are fenced and supplied with plastic bags for poop-scooping. Many also feature decorative faux fire hydrants.

Hat tip: WTOP News.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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The logo for the Vegan soup kitchen movement “Food Not Bombs” is remarkably similar to symbols for British chef Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution crusade and Mark Bittman’s old New York Times blog. Coincidence?

Logo-napping is small stuff to the veggie volunteers who run the “Food Not Bombs” soup kitchen. They will stoop at nothing, even feeding the hungry homeless within slurping distance of a sacred national shrine, Walt Disney World in Orlando. For free, until vigilant Orlando officials and courts stopped such sacrilege. The FNB conspiracy is spreading to other cities. We blame Al-Qaeda.

The New York Times seems to have put Mr. Bittman’s logo in the deep-freeze after folding his Bitten weblog into the Diner’s Journal group blog. And Gil Scott-Heron notwithstanding, Mr. Oliver’s revolution was televised, on the ABC Network. All these logos mimic Spanish Civil War, Soviet, and Vietnamese posters which themselves echo Delacroix, so copyright lawyers don’t find the foodie logos especially tasty.

 Image mashed up by Mike Licht.

The Bitten logo is likely a trademark of the New York Times; the JOFR name and logo are no doubt trademarked by someone-or-other. FNB is a bunch of anarchists who believe copyright is theft. These images are used here in the spirit of inquiry under the Fair Use Doctrine.

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National Public Radio has announced it will now be known as NPR. The Public broadcaster joins other image-conscious nonprofits in adopting a self-referential abbreviation, chief among them AARP. “Radio” sounds so old-fashioned, just like “Colored People” and “Retired People.” The “just-call-us-NPR” network is trying to emphasize its sizeable mobile, podcast, and web presence because the NPR radio audience largely comprises … retired people.

Some large corporations have adopted this “abbreviation-is-our-name” marketing ploy, chief among them KFC (née Kentucky Fried Chicken) and BP, formerly British Petroleum. NPR probably hopes for a more positive brand-changing experience.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here.

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New York City hopes to bring variety to its hundreds of boringly repetitive street festivals, 321 of them last summer. Half the food permits at these events went to the same 20 vendors.

The first step in revitalising the city’s street fairs is a study by the Center for an Urban Future, New Visions for New York Street Fairs. Report excerpt:

“The street fairs have become, in many people’s view, a movable business, a scam, where the same stands simply relocate but never change.” — David Byrne.

 How are things in your town?

Hat tip: Rebuilding Place in the Urban Space.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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