Listen to Leon

Upon hearing the news that Laurence Fishburne’s daughter Montana is releasing a hardcore sex tape, I initially planned to leave the story alone. I mean, it’s a free country. She can suck d*ck on camera if she wants. However, once I heard the reason why Montana Fishburne, a.k.a. “Chippy D” chose to make a sex [...]

Last night I tried to outsmart myself, yet still ended up looking like an idiot. I’ve gone all day long thinking that my cell phone battery was dead since I left the charger in a work conference room. Once I finally got a chance to go in there and plug it in, the screen said [...]

It’s time for me to get a real logo for this site. What better way, than with a contest? I design logos and sites all the time, yet I tend to struggle in that department when it comes to making MY OWN stuff look good. I used to think that it’s because I’m my own [...]

Today I learned that I know a grown man with an ankle tattoo. The guilty party was wearing loafers with no socks on, so this GROSS violation of #ManLaw was in plain sight, visible to the entire world. My first thought upon noticing the sockless style travesty was “Damn. I had no idea that he’s [...]

What is it with goofy motherf*ckers running around where they’re not supposed to? Kid Cudi wanted to whup that ass! He went from singing about The Pursuit of Happiness to charging offstage in the pursuit of bloody vengeance. I love it! Basically, if you make a grown man in skinny jeans mad enough to attack [...]

These are some lazy ass police officers at this Baltimore Orioles game. They let this guy run 3 miles around the stadium before finally arresting him. I guess they didn’t want to end up on the news like the cop who tazered a fan in Philadelphia. However, their inaction is unacceptable. I’d much rather [...]

Thank you for saying what I’m too nice to say to too many people!!!

Adri Cowan of Mark Batty Publisher, I sincerely apologize. It has taken me entirely TOO long to write about the awesome books that you sent me! To everyone else out there wondering why someone as awesome as me would ever feel compelled to make such a public spectacle of myself with an apology for not [...]

This 11 year old girl took an interesting approach to stop bullies: She wrote President Obama. The President wrote her back, which inspired her to create an organization focused on stopping bullies. Truly, a feel good story. Unless some bully kicked her ass for snitching. Then…Well, I don’t know. As good as I feel for that [...]

I’m having a nice day so I feel like speading the joy. Cute baby animal photos are in order! If looking at those pictures is not enough to lift your spirits…I don’t know what to say to you. I tried. Shit. You black-hearted motherf*cker!!! :-)

  How many of you have been so drunk that you had The Pee Dream? Don’t be afraid to admit it! You know, the dream where you think you’re in front of the toilet and it feels real…until moisture wakes you up and it literally feels TOO real! All you can do at that point is get up [...]

Apparently, I slept through an Earthquake early this morning. This is not good! People always tell me I’m a hard sleeper, but I had no idea that I could actually remain unconscious as the Earth beneath me got to shaking and shimmying. If the planet itself cannot awaken me from my slumber which included a [...]

Sometimes I think to myself, “Leon, you’re unbelievably awesome. So awesome, in fact, that you’ve probably outgrown this blogger geek thing.” Then, there are days that remind me why I do what I do. One such day was last Sunday, when a friend of mine asked me to referee an all-ladies’ flag football scrimmage. I’m no [...]

Someone walked past my desk and let out a silent-but-violent drive-by fart this morning. The culprit was a slick one, because it happened around the time when 3 or 4 people were walking past. I can’t even do anything petty to seek vengeance, because I’d have to go after way too many people. I am [...]

They say the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. If that’s the case, Satan has nothing on Rick Ross! I know for a fact that Ross is a fake-ass gangster with a fake-ass name, yet I somehow still like his music. I think I’ve finally gotten to a [...]

I’m sure you’re all tired of the LeBron James free agency saga. However, I must write about it once more since it gets more ridiculous by the hour. I’m having a hard time figuring out whose the bigger jackass, Lebron, or Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert. Right now, I’m leaning towards Dan Gilbert, because his [...]

Love at first sight exists, and her name is Zoe Saldana. She has replaced Lauren London and Alicia Keys as the holder of the top spot in Leon’s Celebrity Crushes. I’d put a grizzly bear in a rear naked choke until it taps out for a date with Zoe. I wouldn’t even expect her to [...]

Today is my grandmother’s 80th birthday. I know that most women do not like their age being put out there, but when you’re 80 years old, it’s a big deal! You wear that like a badge of honor! It’s actually an honor for me to be able to write something over here about her making [...]

LeBron James is a drama queen. There, I said it. Thanks to this overgrown, muscle-bound diva, I will spend my Thursday night watching ESPN at 9:00 sharp, in order to see which team he’ll be playing for next year. This guy made every team on his wish list come to him, and now he’s making [...]

Dear Lord and Savior, Could you please turn down the heat a little bit? It’s literally hot as Hell out here in DC! I’m pretty sure I just saw the Devil himself on K Street, in a straw hat using a church fan. You know, the one with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s picture on the [...]